Living Inspired.

Just Because I Found It Hilarious.

One of the ways I make myself laugh when I'm having a rough day is to read the kids' English books. They.are.hysterical. If you're not aware, children in other counties are taught British English, not American English. This means that everything is super formal and out of date. Not to mention that all the people in the books look like they belong in a 90's grunge-rock video. While I was scanning the bookshelf, I discovered "English 9." I started flipping through the pages to just see what Ukrainian teenagers are being taught. Normal stuff it seemed...

 Then I fell upon this beautiful title: "John Lennon." Yes. THE JOHN LENNON FROM THE BEATLES (oh, and for those of you who have been hiding under a rock this week, Apple officially put The Beatles music on iTunes. PTL.). So I continued to read what the little section said about him. Here it goes.

"John Lennon was murdered just before 11 p.m. on December 8, 1980 outside the Dakota, an apartment building where he lived in New York City. He had just got out of a car and was walking to the entrance when a voice called, 'Mr. Lennon'. Lennon turned and was shot five times. The killer threw his gun down and stood there smiling. 'Do you know what you just did?' shouted the doorman. 'I just shot John Lennon.' the killer replied. Lennon was rushed to the hospital in a police car, but it was too late. The killer was 25 year-old Mark Chapman from Hawaii. Earlier the same evening he had asked Lennon for his autograph. In fact, he had been hanging around outside the apartment building for several days. Chapman was a fan of Lennon and had tried to imitate him in many ways. It is said that he even believed that he was John Lennon."

*Oh no, this isn't the end. Let's all take a look at the questions that were below the section.

1. When was John Lennon murdered?

2. Who was his killer?

3. Did he hate John Lennon?

4. Was Mark Chapman a normal man?

5. Why do you think so?

Where do I even begin? Did anyone else stop and think, 'what kind of question is #4?!' I sat there for a minute, chuckled, then answered the question for myself. "No, Mark Chapman was NOT a normal man. He was a complete fruitcake. Anyone who lurks outside someone's house is a psycho. He was probably planning on climbin' in John's windows, snatchin' his people up (aka his wife Yoko Ono and son Jude). Does anyone remember how Charlie Manson wanted to be like the Beach Boys...we all saw how that turned out. The end."