"8 Souls That Have Forever Transformed
Mine"

"Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity"

--1 Timothy 4:12 (New Living Translation)

Right now, it's 12:31 am in Ukraine. My body aches to go to sleep, but my heart is saying "stay for a little while longer." As I'm alone in this quiet house, all I can think about are the eight precious kids sounds asleep right now. When I close my eyes, I can see their sweet smiles, hear the laughter that engulfs their bodies, touch their sun-kissed faces...If I could, I would wrap them up in my arms and hold them there forever. When I am close to them, I feel more in tune with my heart. When I look into their eyes, I find myself looking into the eyes of my Jesus. Through them, He revels peace,joy,laughter,meekness,tenderness,kindness,creativity. Those are only a few things, of course.

So right now, my little ones, you are sleeping soundly. I thought I would write each of you just to tell you how wonderful and special I think you really are. I pray that one day you will understand what has been written.

Vika--You are captivating. You exude beauty externally and internally. I see so much strength in you that surpasses your age. You provide a gift of service and humility that changes those around you. When I first saw you, I couldn't help but see myself. From day one, I knew we were going to be close. My beautiful girl, I pray everyday that you will grow in strength, courage, and love. I love you.

Diana-You are brilliant. I see this in your eyes and hear it from your mouth. You have a great sense of learning and thirst for more. One day, you will be a translator...and a great one too. When I first saw you, I was captured by those gorgeous blue eyes of yours. You have this soft beauty in your actions and face. My fair-skinned girl, I pray everyday that you will lean on His understand, guidance, and truth. I love you.

Bogdan-You are eager. You crave newness and excitement everyday. When I watch you, I am fascinated by how intrigued you are. You have a fire within your soul that cannot be tamed easily. When I listen to you speak, I hear a future pastor. When I first saw you, I knew that I were ever blessed with a younger brother, he would be like you. My wild at heart boy, I pray everyday that you will hold on to His teachings, goodness, and spirit. I love you.

Bogdanchik-You are an over-comer. You move around obstacles and make ways that seem impossible, possible. When I hear you laugh, it helps overcome any unpleasant feelings I may have. I watch you, and all I can see is you moving mountains. By your attitude, you have opened the eyes of many. This is what will revolutionize you generation. My tender boy, I pray everyday that you will stand on His power,compassion,and protection. I love you.

Alona-You are daring. You approach every situation with gusto. When I watch you, I see a strong girl who plays with reckless abandon. Nothing is short of an adventure for you. Each day is another page in your exquisite story. I only wish I could have half the courage you do. My coffee-eyed girl, I pray everyday that you will discover His infinitude, fulfillment, and purposes. I love you.

Sneezhana-You are an optimist. Joy overflows from every part of you and it's contagious. You share happiness from that toothless smile to your big hugs. When everything in the world seems gray and dull, there you are as a source of sunshine. You bring light into the lives of those around you. No one can ever put out that brightness. My peppy girl, I pray everyday that you feel His kindness,grace,and hope. I love you.

Isabella-You are vivacious. When you walk into a room, your presence is known. You carry a confidence in you that is exciting to see. From our walks down to kindergarten to our discussions at the dinner table, I see a lively girl. You have a "pep in your step" and face the world with high spirits. You are an all Ukrainian/American girl, and everyone knows it. My little princess, I pray everyday that you will see that He is immutable, sovereign, freedom. I love you.

Yula-You are meek. When I look at you, I think of a lamb. You're actions are gentle and your laugh is light. You posses a passive spirit that is needed amongst this family sometimes. You find contentment with the things in your life which is wonderful. There's something soft about you that leaves me at peace. My baby-doll girl, I pray everyday that you will live in His comfort, simplicity, and providence. I love you.

Our God has so graciously allowed me to be apart of your lives for nine months. I have had the privilege of celebrating big milestones, sharing precious memories, enjoying new adventures, and so much more with you. Everyday has brought its blessings and you all were the greatest blessings. Our stories have all come together for this moment in time for a purpose. Maybe we won't know this purpose until later on in our lives, but for now I know this: You have taught me to love deeply, be full with joy, and to have child-like faith. You have transformed my heart and soul for the rest of my life.

Tomorrow, I will physically leave you, but I leaving part of my heart and spirit with you. I want you to always know that we are united through our Papa's spirit. He has given each of us, including me, more places to go and new destinations to explore. If we may never meet again on earth, my prayer tonight is that we will all be joined together in Heaven. Where one day, we will be able to laugh, play, sing, and love with one another as we did here in Ukraine.

I am grateful.

You are treasured.

I love you all to the moon and back.

Your names are forever written on my heart.

"It's Just The Story Of My Life"

Instead of story, I was going to put "doo-wops", but that made me sound old fashioned and dorky. I thought "story" would be better. That's about it.

I cannot tell you how many blessings have been poured over the last several days. Everyday has been filled with so much love,laughter,life,memories,song,sun,and joy. I have the most incredible family and friends here and count myself to be the luckiest girl in the world! Here's a run down of what's gone on since Friday...

1.  Spent Friday night watching The Italian Job with Sasha and Katya. Oh Mark Wahlberg, you are a fine lookin' man. I wouldn't mind if you returned to your rapping days...

2. Spent Saturday in the mountains with my closest family and friends here in Ukraine. Archie and Ruslan planned a surprise birthday weekend for me which included having a picnic in the mountains. Friends from all over the world were gathered together (Russian,Ukraine,Holland,Australia,America) to help celebrate this big milestone. I have to say that I almost (when I say 'almost', I mean 'I did a little')tinkled my pants a couple of times when we played two group games. Let's just say I'm bringing these back to America. 

3. Going to my last church service here in Ukraine. Very emotional as I hate to be apart from my brothers and sisters here. The pastor and congregation prayed for me...if there were adequate words to describe how humbled I am. I was reminded that if we don't meet again on this earth, we will worship and laugh together in Paradise. Thank you, Jesus!

4. Spending Sunday outside and had a barbecue for dinner. Let me say that this is the first barbecue I've been to where I saw the pig get chopped up before it was cooked. Oh yeah, "Wilbur" was bought fresh on Sunday morning just for the occasion. However, it was delicious. I cannot tell a lie. Then, Archie baked me a huge chocolate cake. Let's just say that it kind of got shoved in my mouth. Don't worry--pictures and videos will come soon. Praise the Lert I didn't choke as I got tickled several times while this happened.

5. Today (my 20th birthday) was spent eating chocolate cake for breakfast (go ahead and judge), listening to some awesome music (you know--Zeppelin, The Doors, Adele, Katy Perry, The Beatles...), receiving almost 60 wall posts on Facebook, hanging outside with the kids, wrestling with the boys on the trampoline #ilost, played Life with Sasha, dancing in the kitchen with Katya, getting a homemade birthday card from the kids (I was on the verge of an emotional breakdown), having cookies and tea with the family, and sitting out on the porch to gaze at the beautiful full moon (in the sky, that is).

 

"""""""She saw every ending as a new beginning." The past 20 years has been filled with everything extraordinary: great friends,big possibilities,exciting travels,life-changing moments,precious family and so much more. I can only hope the next 20 will be just as inspiring. Goodbye teenage years, hello roaring twenties!

"Those Were The Best Years Of My Life"
 

A week from now, I will be 20 years old. Whaaattt? It really does seem like yesterday that I turned 13. That happened at the end of 6th grade. Woof, that was a rough year. I think that's when I really began to drive my parents freakin' crazy. Oh wait. It was probably before then. (This is where I take time to apologize to Ma and Pa for being a pain in the rear end). Anyway, the past 6 years have been filled with all the normal "teenagery" things: desiring independence, thinking I knew everything, sassing my parents, wanting to be like everyone else, wore all the trendy clothes, went on an emotional roller coaster, got zits at the worst times, fell in love, got my driver's license, got a detention, was grounded (maybe more than a few times), went to prom, broke hearts, made best friends, got my first car, had my heart broken, made some enemies, felt like my parents were against me, ignorant of what life was really like, got my first job, bought a lottery ticket (this was on my 18th birthday. it totes was a cheap gas station one. winning!), and just about anything else you can think of...
There were crappy times, but there were so many more incredible moments. I have experienced BIG life-changing events:


blessed to be able to travel to 9 different countries (Japan,Thailand,Ukraine,Moldova,Russia,Germany,Austria,Netherlands,and France), meeting one of my closest/best friends (here's a shout-out to Ms.Rachel Hopper), graduating high school, singing & traveling with my high school ensemble, spending Sundays & Wednesdays with my fabulous small group, watching my family grow stronger, being apart of camps & retreats, that left me hungry for more, visiting some remarkable cities, going to some sweet concerts (the Robert Plant/Allison Krauss show was the stuff), and....


I moved to Ukraine.


Yesterday, I took an hour or two to simply enjoy His presence.  I got away from some of the noise, some of the distraction, and embraced the sweet sound of His voice. I began to think deeply about my teenage years. This is where remarkable and rememberable things took place. Tears began to sting my eyes as I thought about the complexity of my life. At the same time, I couldn't stop smiling.  Even now, as I write this, I can't imagine that I would spend my last year of being a teenager in Ukraine. I imagined myself a college student, that seemed pretty normal to me. Isn't that what most people at 19 do? However, God wanted me to live in a whole new way. Perhaps He saved this moment for this time in my life, when I most needed it. I need this stepping stone in my life. I needed the wake-up call. I needed to be humbled. I needed to learn to love. I needed my Father's affirmation. I needed the feeling of pure bliss. I needed to get away from the stress of life. I needed change. It's this Divine change that has transformed my heart, mind, and spirit. 
My prayer is that I can move into this next year and the next phase of my life with this in mind.
"More of Him, less of me."


"That's why my cup is running over. This is the assigned moment for him to move into the center, while I slip off to the sidelines."

--John 3:29-30 (The Message)

"Joy Is Found Here"

Lately, I have been feeling greatly overwhelmed with this ugly little thing called stress. My mind is constantly racing with all the various things that have to be accomplished in my life. Here's how the conversation in my head goes, "Ahhh. I have SO much to do and so little time. Twenty-four hours in a day just isn't enough (insert grumble). I need to find a job as soon as possible! Wait. No one is going to hire me through the internet. I am dumb! What if there's one employer who thinks online applicants are cool? Cool? Really Raegan, are you in the 4th grade again? Where was I..oh ya. Job. How am I going to be able to get to work if I don't have a car? Guess I'll be biking to work. Talk about an intense work-out. Go me. Eat your heart out, Billy Blanks. Wait Raegan, he's an exercise guru. He could beat you in thumb wrestling. I lose. Thumb wrestling...what a heated game in elementary school. School. College. Where am I going to college? Do I need to cancel my enrollment anywhere? Maybe I should settle for a community school. Oh the irony of how I used to make fun of community colleges in high school. Jokes on me now. Not winning (insert Charlie Sheen voice)!" I may or may not have added a few things in there just for chuckles, but you get the gist of it. I can feel my blood pressure rising and stomach ulcers forming...and my knees ache when there's bad weather. Not like you needed to know that or anything. As you see, most of this has NOTHING to do with my current life. None of these "problems" include Ukraine. 
The past few days have been filled with sunny weather, good friends, and lots of laughter. As summer approaches, the days seem to draw out. One of my favorite things are those cool summer evenings where there's crickets chirping, a soft breeze, a sherbet sunset, and the sweet smell of earth. On Sunday, I laid out on a blanket and attempted to read Persuasion by Jane Austen. #epicfail (So, if you know me, you know I'm not a big fan of Twitter. Thought I would throw that little nugget in for those that like it. No need to thank me.) By the third page, I was tickling the little girls. The sound of their laughter was sweet and soothing. A few nights ago, some of the kids and I were snuggling on the couch. Yula had her little arm around my stomach and was pulling herself as close as she could to my side. Jokingly, I picked up her arm and said, "What do you want?" She looked at me with her big brown eyes and said, "I love you." 
Every burden on my heart--the stress, the anxiety, the fears, the uncertainties--melted away. I could hear God saying, "This is where joy is found; in these moments that I have given you. You run to so many worthless things to find peace in the midst of your 'despair'. I have given you the infectious laughter, the warm touches, and the captivating smiles of these children. There may be chaos in your heart, in your family, in your relationships, and even in your world. However, you will see the perfection of My Peace through their eyes."